


I Find Your Lack of DM's Disturbing

by Sm0lAvidReader, Vox_Panica_48



Series: SW: Dad Jokes and Similar Shenanigans [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Force Bond (Star Wars), Gen, Luke learning about said Dad, Mentioned Padmé Amidala, Puns & Word Play, Sass, Self-Indulgent, Skywalker Family Drama (Star Wars), Social Media, Vader trying to be a Dad, they are my friends Dad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:27:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27908227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sm0lAvidReader/pseuds/Sm0lAvidReader, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vox_Panica_48/pseuds/Vox_Panica_48
Summary: Star Wars + Social Media= UNLIMITED POWER.Mostly Darth Vader and Luke figuring out how to be father and son via long-distance communication. Sprinkle in some Imperials, Rebels, Clones, and possibly force ghosts who have to live in the same universe as Skywalkers.Tip: Read part one of the series for context.
Relationships: Luke Skywalker & Darth Vader
Series: SW: Dad Jokes and Similar Shenanigans [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2022440
Comments: 19
Kudos: 138





	1. Return of the Sass

**Author's Note:**

> Context: Very soon after the end of Skywalker Genes Cannot Be Stopped.
> 
> For Reference:  
> DarthFather501 or DF= Darth Vader  
> LittleStarR5 or LS=Luke Skywalker  
> (parentheses)= Luke's Inner Thoughts

**After Bespin, Spacebook DMs**

DarthFather501: Hello, son.

LittleStarR5: Um hi?

(Internal screaming is very close to becoming external screaming.)

DF: Is this an acceptable form of communication?

LS: Sure. May I ask why?

(What did I do to deserve this?)

DF: I would like to get the chance to know you.

LS: oh. Ok.

DF: Thank you for this opportunity.

LS: 👍. I would put both thumbs up but you know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's a bit short but they are still at the awkward stage. Vader absolutely sulked for a few days after this.
> 
> As always thanks to the lovely people in the New SW Canon Discord Server, including @Jackdaw_Kraii and @loosingletters, for inspiring us.
> 
> Lastly, here is a link to where art shall be posted for this series. Vox_Panica_48 has been doing an amazing job on the art.  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bad-art-with-vox


	2. Vader Strikes Back With Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darth Vader and Luke set some ground rules and have a soft moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Context: A few days after Chapter 1.
> 
> For reference:  
> DarthFather501 (DF)= Darth Vader  
> LittleStarR5 (LS)= Luke Skywalker  
> *text*= Narration, not messages  
> Strikethrough= typed then deleted

**Spacebook DM's**

LittleStarR5: Look if you want to ask questions about me then I get to ask questions of my own.

DarthFather501: Understandable. I will answer any questions that you have truthfully.

LS: About yourself or? Would you tell me the truth if I asked about something like Imperial fleet positions?

DF: If that is what you wished to know then yes.

LS: Why? Why would you be willing to tell me sensitive information?

*With that question, Luke Skywalker cautiously opens their familial force bond. He hadn’t been curious or brave enough to test it since Cloud City. It was surprising how easy Luke could pick up on his father’s emotions given the distance between them.*

DF: Because you are my son. Little Star, you need only say the word and I will give you the galaxy. For the last three years, nothing has been more important to me than your existence. I would like nothing more than to be a part of your life. The Empire may be at odds with the Rebellion but I can assure you that no teenage rebellion will affect my willingness to care for you. Nonetheless, I will endeavor to offer you proof of my honesty and sentiment. Ask and I shall answer.

*Their bond conveyed Vader’s sincerity and love, reassuring Luke that his father meant every word he typed. There was only conviction. It made Luke lightheaded to sense the dark tendrils of his father’s presence stretch out across space and time to give him the equivalent of a mental hug. Luke instinctively knew that those tendrils could be used for far less pleasant actions but with him they were gentle. He tentatively reached out and, with the same level of gentleness, briefly hugged his father’s darkness in return.*

LS: Could you maybe tell me about my mother? I never even got her name.

DF: Her name was Padme Amidala-Naberrie. She was a senator and served as the Queen of Naboo. We were married before you were born.

LS: How did you meet?

DF: Forgive me Young One. It is a long tale. ~~One I’m not ready to tell at this very moment.~~ If you are willing, I can arrange a secure call in the near future. Then I will tell you all that you desire to know about your mother.

LS: I’d like that ~~Father~~.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More puns will arrive eventually but first fluff. The apology stage is in motion and continues over in Part 4 aka Darth Vader giving gifts.
> 
> As usual, we thank the New SW Canon Server for their support and inspiration. If you readers enjoy Luke and Vader fluff then make sure to check out Jackdaw_Kraii’s Guides Verse.


	3. The Important Questions (aka they mess up small talk)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker attempt to engage in small talk. After two awkward tries they manage to have a longer conversation. Too bad it's an argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that we've been really slow on the updates but school is the trouble in these troubling times. We hope all of you readers have a wonderful day and that Zelda fans have a good 35th anniversary celebration.
> 
> Key:  
> DarthFather501 (DF)= Darth Vader  
> LittleStarR5 (LS)= Luke Skywalker  
> Italics= Darth Vader’s thoughts  
> (text)= Luke’s thoughts

_ I have not communicated with my Little Star in awhile. I will try small talk. Hmm what topic do I start with? _

DarthFather501: What are your opinions on sand?

LittleStarR5: It’s alright I guess. 

DF: You don’t hate it?

LS: No. I got pretty used to it living on a desert planet.

DF: But it’s coarse, rough, and irritating and it gets everywhere.

LS: It’s at most a minor annoyance.

_ MINOR? WHAT??? This went better with Padme.  _

DF: What about when your shoes had sand in them?

LS: I’m pretty sure my shoes had feet in them.

_ That was terrible… wait I am the one who is supposed to be making those types of jokes. _

* * *

**~ A few hours later ~**

(I feel bad for killing the conversation earlier. I guess I could try and ask a question back.)

LS: So what’s your favorite color?

(Well I’m terrible at this. I don’t know what I’ll do if he says black.)

DF: Blue.

LS: That’s nice mine’s green 🙂.

* * *

**~ another few hours later ~**

_ Small talk does not seem to be working. I will ask about something important instead. _

DF: I want to ask

LS: ??

DF: Why exactly were you so insistent on rejecting my offer on Cloud City? Was it because of the unfortunate end to our duel?

LS: Seriously? Are you joking?

DF: Yes I am serious. Why would it be a joke?

LS: Alright then. Do you want the list of reasons in chronological or alphabetical order? Forget it, I’ll just give you the SparkNotes version for now.

DF: ok

_ I think I may have possibly made a misstep.  _

LS: You are a Sith Lord who serves the dark side, you serve a corrupt government, you killed Ben right in front of me, you have been directly or indirectly responsible for the deaths of several friends and family members over the years, you were torturing my closest friends not minutes before I arrived at Cloud City, AND you gave one of them to a Bounty Hunter to be delivered to Jabba the Hut. The loss of my arm did not help but it was far from the only thing.

DF: Surely your friends aren’t that important. The smuggler got himself tangled up with that Bounty Hunter of his own accord.

LS: BUT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DELIVERED HAN ON A SILVER CARBONITE PLATTER. My friends ARE that important. I care about them and you hurt them.

DF: That is a weakness. Friends are nothing more than obstacles.

LS: You’re wrong. Good friends are loyal and care about you as much as you do them. They can help you in so many ways and make life brighter. Haven’t you ever had friends like that?

_ Obi-Wan, Ashoka, Rex… no they all betrayed me, THEY ALL LEFT ME! _

DF: No. Friends will always betray you, always take advantage of you. You would be better off without them. The smuggler deserved what he got and the pain of the others is inconsequential. I don’t approve of your connections to them.

LS: That smuggler has a name. It’s Han Solo. If it weren’t for him then I would have died above the Death Star. You would have shot me down without us ever knowing our relation. So no I will not stop caring about my friends. Whether they include a smuggler, a princess, or rebel criminals. I’m done talking to you.

_ I… I have to fix this somehow. I still think friends are worthless but unfortunately it seems I owe Solo a debt. I hope Luke didn’t mean he was done talking to me permanently. _

(Calm down. Calm down. UGH. I feel like I channeled Leia. How could he not understand that torturing someone’s friends is bad? I mean it seemed like he understood that I cared about them but he didn’t understand why. Who doesn’t understand the importance of friends? I miss Han. He would have cheered me up. Maybe I’ll go find Leia and we can go over the rescue plans again.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke: Don't you know what a friend is?  
> Vader: *dramatic flashback* No.
> 
> Anyways Darth Vader needs to work on his social skills. To his credit, arguments between him and Luke were bound to happen given their past interactions and their current beliefs. 
> 
> Thank you for all the support for our series. Love for the New SW Canon Discord server.


End file.
